Poor parenting: Parents lackadaisical attitudes and lingering silence towards their children



By Mai-Nasara Muawiya Uzair

It is a responsibility vested upon all children who were brought up in a morally sound way to give a complete respect and utmost sincerity to their parents as well as whoever they (the parents) are acquaintances with.

But in our today’s lives, everything has changed to the extent that many a times a child does not see the values of his biological parent, let alone those his parents have good relationships with.

This occurs as a result of poor parenting since the cradle days of a child. He who lacks good attitudes and behaviours in his or her life losses everything, so that nothing tangible comes out from him or her, for good attitudes are ingredients behind any successful person.

The lives of such individuals would be as futile as of those who have no directions and goals to achieve in life. Showing love and care to a child is a necessity for parents; but too much of it might eventually lead to failure on the part of the child, and regret on the part of the parents.

Many parents fail to set their children on the right path, because, of unmeasurable love they have for them. Many of the youth roaming our streets stranded and engaged in numerous illicit behaviours is because of improper parenting. Some parents erroneously think that giving birth solely depends on bringing a child into the world without watching over his/her movements. To me, personally, I don’t take giving birth to a child without good conducts as an achievement one shall be proud of.

Some people do take care of their children only when they are with them at home but, they are reluctant to watch and ferret out the people with whom their children associate in schools and the environments where they live.

Children are gifts and blessings from Almighty Allah; thus, we shall stand before Him for questions on how we raised our children and vice versa.

Offering good morals to a girl-child, is something that’s too complex, demanding and burdensome to maintain. This is particularly more difficult in this cozy century filled with challenges here and there, in both rural and urban settlements. It was no easy at all. To prove or disprove my assertion, ask those with female children. Very many amongst our parents could not even purchase cosmetic products for their girl-children not because they have no wherewithal to do so, but because they dont see that as an obligatory responsibility shouldered upon them. It is usually the mothers who are left to do that. Still, this is seldom particularly in rural environments where resources and means of generating income are too scarce.

Most parents fail to discharge this tasks accordingly. In some instances, female children are allowed to possess smart phones and other luxury materials without being challenged by their parents, purposely, because they usually come in with a lion share to the parent as a feast-return! Our parents need to know the type of boyfriends our sisters associate with, because women’s hearts are too flexible and fragile.

They are easily deceived by juicy and dulcet words of some unscrupulous guys! There is the need for parents to always know who dates their children for the maintenance and protection of their images and reputations before the Almighty Allah and society at large.

It is important for parents to know that sometimes keeping bad friends by their children is the causative agent behind their shattering and faltering in society.

Parent’s refusal to sit down and discuss issues with their children also contribute immensely to moral decadence. Parent ought to give a listening ear to their children and help solve their problem.

By proposing solution or offering advices to their children, a huge percentage of the problems faced by children may get rectified. Depending on ones’ schedules or at least once in a month, parents shall sit and talk to their children about their (childrens) going-ons. This is better than not talking to them at all.

However, the burden of proper upbringing of children should not solely rest on the parents shoulders. Other elders in the family and the community should also do the needful to help check the bad folks in our communities.

This can only be fully achieved when parents allow others to freely give counsels to their children. It is a common happening in our communities that some parents ignorantly frown against anyone who attempts to set their children on the right tracks, thinking him/her as an enemy.

Lack of discipline has also played a key role in the spread of poor behaviour in our society because most parents are reluctant to discipline their children let alone their neighbours.

The uncontrollable and unconditional love parents show upon their children often blinds them to reason. How then can this stinky generation breed a good generation? Things cannot change unless the rhythm on the beat changes before it reaches a complete a stage too difficult to be fixed.

Most of the much talked-about bandits, kidnappers and insurgents are in the business as a result of poor parenting. Education is a prime and integral factor in changing the life of a human. Parent should take it upon themselves to ensure standard education is attained by their children, for lack of it may create a room for all sorts of negative consequences.

May we all be guided, amin.

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